The Living Legacy:
If you’re searching for the ‘Key to Happiness’,
then I have something important to share with you
It’s not out there in the world. It never was.
So what is happiness?
It may appear different for everyone, depending on what’s important to you and
your children, but happiness really is only one thing, and the one thing in life that
everyone is looking for?
Most of us look for it out there in the world. We search and search in jobs, houses, money, people, booze, drugs, you name it, and sometimes we search our whole lives but only a few it seems, really find it.
And there’s a really good reason for this, and here it is:
What if happiness is there all along, we’re just searching in the wrong place, or in the wrong direction?
Think about this: When you meet someone and you realize, wow, this is it, what are you feeling? It’s love right? Well where are you feeling it? It’s within you. Do you ever feel love outside of you?
All your feelings are within you right, and because of that, all these feelings are choices. You choose to feel happy or sad, loving, or angry. It’s your decision whether you love someone or hate them. You base your feelings on things external to you but they’re still your feelings.
Some of you will feel empowered by this and some will be offended, angry and hurt by it. Again it’s your decision.
But what is a living legacy and how does it relate to your happiness?
To start with, I need to show you that love and commitment exist. That it does and can happen, even to you? I can show you what it is that gets people 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years of love and commitment.
But time is really not a factor in your legacy. A living legacy is all times. It doesn’t matter, it’s not a race, we’re not in a happiness competition with each other.
You have a living legacy whether you know it, want it, or care.
So let’s ask this again. What does happiness entail?
It’s just a decision to be loving and positive no matter what.
We all have our rough days but it’s precisely at those times when we should say to ourselves, “I am going to be loving and stay positive no matter what,” and then say in your mind, “I love you” to whatever situation or person (including yourself) that is causing you to choose a negative path. Then keep saying it until you feel it.
If it seems too hard in that moment, fake it until you feel it.
It’s actually not that difficult. It’s just you making a decision and committing to it. You can do that right?
What is the ‘Why’ of all this? Why should you care?
You should care because underneath it all, we all want to be happy more than anything. No matter what you do in life, your position, family, role, level of success, we all want this thing called happiness, so test it.
Make a decision for one day to be happy and loving no matter what goes on, or what happens during that time.
Here is the one big thing to help with this, because we as humans have, in general
Failed to grasp this:
Stop thinking in terms of wanting to be loved,
and instead think only of being loving.
If we all did this, consistently, it would change the world, rapidly.
This is an example of a Living legacy.
Ted and Terry McIntyre. 50 years of marriage. What’s the Secret?
“What does it take to hold a marriage together for 50 years?”
Mom– “Love, commitment.”
Greg– “And lots of awesome kids.”
Mom– “Who can separate with 5 kids. I think the most important thing is to love the person you’re married to, otherwise you won’t be happy, and commitment. Just make it work.”
Greg– “Dad, do you have any words of wisdom?”
Dad– “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
Mom– “Cause there’ll be plenty of big stuff.”
Dad– “There’ll be a lot of that.”
This is my family.
This is what we work for. A lifetime devoted to personal betterment, yes, but also driven by devotion to family. To make a better life for ourselves and our children.
My father is the hardest working man I know.
I remember hearing his alarm clock going off at 4:30am every morning and hearing him roll out of bed and get ready for the day. It was consistent. Like clockwork. His employers could always count on him. We, the family, could always count on him.
Dad (Ted McIntyre) has been retired several years now and has remodeled my home almost single handedly. He is constantly working on other projects. He is very involved in his church and with friends. I always remember this one saying from my Dad: I used to play so much baseball and I would get down when I first started, when I made errors on a play. He’d say, ‘Everybody makes errors once in a while, but you’ve got to get ready for the next play cause the next batters up, the next balls coming.’ He taught me that. Great life lessons happen all the time, throughout life. It really got me ready because that’s very much how life is. Every once in a while we make a mistake, but we have to keep moving forward cause the next plays coming right. A truly great role model for me and my sons.
My mother (Terry McIntyre), is equally hard working and creative. She was my mother and chauffeur when I was growing up, shuttling me endlessly to ball games and practices, and she worked full time as the pastor’s secretary at First Baptist Church in Shelby, NC. She was the queen of school projects, always there to push me forward and beyond. I have to say dad also helped a ton so I guess you would call him the king of school projects.
They’ve been there more than words can say. I followed my Dad’s lead into the Navy. It worked well for him and for me. I followed his lead going to college. Man, was that a great decision! I have tried and sometimes failed to follow his lead as a Christian father, a God fearing man, tirelessly devoted to his wife, children and providing for them no matter what.
I’m different from my parents, we all are, but they provided and continue to provide a great roadmap to follow for how to have a thriving marriage, family and be a decent human being.
That’s their legacy. The legacy that you hang in there with your wife through thick and thin. You support each other. You made it look quite effortless but I know it takes a lot of work. You work hard for your family no matter what. You love your children unconditionally. You try to teach them the right things to do, what you consider the right things. You know what that is!
These are the real legacies we leave our families.
I have been married over 17 years now to my lovely wife, Stefanie. 50 years seems like a long way away. My mom told me yesterday that 25 years would be here before I knew it. She’s right. This life… time flies by so fast.
I wish my parents a Very happy 50th anniversary.
I hope that I can live up to their living legacy of being kind, hard working, Christian folks.
Thank you very much for your wisdom, advice, perseverance through your marriage, and here’s to you both.
I know you are working on your living legacy out there too. I hope we all make it to 50 years of love and commitment and everything else, so choose to have a good life no matter what. It can only get better by doing so.
Bibliography and Resources
The Ultimate truth – Lester levenson
No Attachments No Aversions. The autobiography of a master – Lester Levenson
Love Yourself and let the other person have it your way – Lawrence Crane
The Divine Matrix – Gregg Braden
Call me if you have any questions:
Elder Law Attorney
McIntyre Elder Law
123 W. Marion Street, Shelby